syakir is now seventeen

How time flies huhhhh my little brother is not so little anymore. He's now a totally different person, especially now that he's busy with college.

As much as I'm always complaining about how he's so busy with school and friends now, I can't help but be happy for him. For all the times he looked out for me, he deserves nothing but happiness in this world and hereafter. 

It's his birthday today, and we're all too busy with work and school that we got no time to be celebrating birthdays now. It's craaaaaaazy, but hey we gotta hustle to get some hasil. I wanted to cook for him but he's on this healthy diet phase so I guess the birthday present gotta wait for another day then... 

May you be stronger, happier, richer, and most importantly, a better Muslim.

it is here

My palms are sweating, just by thinking about it.

Whenever I close my eyes, I could see myself being in that exact situation.

Sleeping is starting to be a challenge for me.

It's official. It's here. 

Exam Anxiety 😭

better days are coming

I'm soooooo tired. 

Sounds dramatic, but really, I am. 

Too many things have been going on in my life and I am really finding it hard to breathe while trying to get things together, just like how I envision them. Finals, wedding, tuition... I haven't been able to find time for myself. I honestly don't feel like a human at all right now.

Ok I shall not complain. When I had a lot of free time, I wanted to keep myself occupied. And now that I'm kinda over-occupied, yes I miss those less stressful, less busy days but I know they're coming soon.

Just hoping that I will have the strength to get through all these. 🙏🏼

social media yay or nay

Every single time I see something funny, I wanna record that moment on video. This all started out thanks to Snapchat. Even though I kinda abandoned you for Instagram stories now, you're still my first love and that is special. Whenever I wanna be a busybody and find out more about people's lives, mainly my favourite celebrities, I will go on Instagram. There are times I feel like getting things out of my head, I tweet it. Facebook is the place I see all the amazing information people share. But Twitter is still the place I'm getting the latest news, and memes and.... basically my favourite social media platform.

I've had many thoughts of going off social media. I questioned myself like why do I share this and that to the world, why do I need to tweet this, why do I need to Instagram this.... blah blah the list goes on. I deleted, archived and privatised so many things on my social media because I hated how stupid I had posted some stuff up before this.

But I know, if I ever go off from it, I'll get bored and even more emotionally unstable because I'm bored. I'll also lose out on a lot of information. I mean, the only news I'm reading now is when I scroll through my timeline and Channel NewsAsia comes up.

So this year I hope I can use social media as a platform for me to be a better version of myself. To use it for me to get useful information that can benefit my future.... and to be less harsh on myself and share some stuff out of fun and memories' sake.

To enjoy the real moment, that's the goal.

gong xi fa cai woof woof

Happy Chinese New Year 🍊 🍊

Weeks ago, I told Xiuqi that she should invite me to her place for CNY and I would be there in a cheongsam. She thought I was kidding. Obviously not. I was dead serious about it. Even more serious about it the moment she texted me about making a CNY gathering.

It was soooooooo hard to find a cheongsam. Most of the cheongsam selling these days are the modern twist ones. They're basically normal dresses with the mandarin collar. So I made my way all the way to Chinatown to search for a real traditional one. 

BUT OH GOD. I now truly understand why my Chinese girl friends are no longer wearing cheongsams during CNY. The one you see me wearing is already one of the larger ones. I would like to think I'm not THAT large. I have tried way too many cheongsams that are either too tight on the chest area or I can't even fit into one at all, thanks to my hips. 

The moment I found one that I could fit... I bought it right away. Not thinking much. 

Chun Li Style

This was the look that my friends wanted me to go for. I think I need to find new friends.

Kidding. I love them. My crazy fishballs.

We all have been too busy talking about school and how we're gaining weight at a very alarming rate. I'm just glad yesterday happened.

We stopped talking about school for a while and eat all we want. And then after a good 20 minutes of arguing on which movie to watch on Netflix, we settled on Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging.

A perfect way to end the night. Chick flick movies always bring you back to the wonderful secondary school days. I can't believe I thought the things I did when I was 14 was "cool" back then? Even now, I'm not any much cooler. But heck. Let's just wing this whole life. 💸

May this year be MY year. 🐶

More wealth, better grades and overall happiness. 💓

anything but studying

📍 Xiuqi's house

Life has been better than I expected it would be at this point of time. Exams are coming and yeah, you can say I'm not so ready but I'm more ready if you were to compare me with the Old Syafiqah.

People have been asking me, texting me on what I've been up to lately. Honestly, nothing. Well.... except for studying and eating A LOT. My weight gain is becoming more obvious than ever. My double chin is coming out... I'm just a fat blob now guys. 😭

The bunch I've been hanging out with.

Yup, there it is. That double chin. And I've been going on a no makeup look for quite some time now.  I watched a video about makeup one day and all the bad things that come with it so now, I'm trying to be more confident without it. Hopefully one day, I can be like Alicia Keys and rock that whole no makeup look! Oh, and that's also our faces at 9 p.m. while in lecture.

Xiuqi is now finally up from her nap and instead of studying, we're both basically lazing around; me blogging while she's watching her anime.

We've been hanging out a lot, thanks to school. I can't thank God enough for her presence in my life, especially since the past few months. And thanks to that, we're becoming way too clingy now... trying to push each other to study but ugh it has honestly been hard.

It's gonna be hard and it will get harder from here.

But let's do this!

Amirah and I at Taeyang's "White Night" World Tour in Singapore

Recently Taeyang got married. Gosh! I am sooooo happy for him. 

I admit I was one of those fans who weren't THAT happy when I found out he has a girlfriend. Cant help it, I was in denial. I thought I could marry him, no kidding. CLEARLY I OVERESTIMATED MYSELF. 

But honestly now, I'm glad Taeyang and Min Hyorin got married. They looked so perfect for each other and soooo in love with each other. Check out all the updates on their wedding and you'll get what I mean.

"He may not be the one for you, but just know, God is preparing someone better for you in future."

I am holding on to this for now since all the guys I'm attracted to always turn out to be taken. What luck, I know!

loving 2018 so far

If there's one thing I love about 2018, it's the fact that it started on Monday. I felt right. I felt like I'm gonna get my life right and everything would be neater from then on. I am even more happier now because January seems longer than it usually is since we have 5 weeks of January. It's like God heard my prayers whenever I begged for time to slow down.

Right now, I feel like I should update a little bit of what I've been up to because your girl right here has been procrastinating when it comes to updating this space.

I've been spending a lot of time in the library and I'm planning to spend even more time in the library this year. Let's see how long this will last because I'm slowly feeling so drained but I know I just have to keep going. I'm also really glad to have met amazing friends in school. I feel like I need to give them a proper introduction in this blog soon. For now, just know that they have been nothing but God-sent individuals in my life.

I also found my new favourite eating place, Isuramuya.

I've been watching a looooooot of Baek Jong Won's shows and I've been craving and enjoying Japanese food a lot. I'm even more determined now to save my own money and go for a trip to Japan soon. 

I also have spent a lot of time with Aisah. We both are having a hard time and I hope we both get through this dark phase soon.

Nurin Insyirah

When I got back from Korea, I've been blessed with so many good news. This little gem is somehow one of them. So far so good, she's been a nice baby. Easy to be with. Aunty Syafiqah already loves you for that! 😂  May you grow up to be a great Muslimah little girl!

I don't know when else I will update this space, but let's hope it'll be some time soon.

I've been trying to get myself off the Internet as much as possible. Tho I'm not doing well on that, I'm trying my best. I missed those times when social media is something we do out of fun. Nowadays people read too much into what we post online, especially on Instagram. This is why Dean's song Instagram is so relatable. I've cleared a few of my posts on Instagram and maybe I will clear more in future. We shall see.

But me being away from Instagram means.... I'm on Twitter even more now. Dammit.

describe me

I can't sleep right now so I thought it's best to blog right now because when else can I find a better timing to do this. 💁🏻

After scrolling through my social media accounts, I realised currently there's this trend where people search for their name up on urban dictionary. Of course, your girl right here wanted to join in the fun and searched her name.

Does this sound like me? 😂

I would like to believe that this describes me perfectly, but after showing this to Veda just now, she disagrees with the part where I am supposedly a shy person 😒

If you haven't tried searching your name up on urban dictionary, go do it and maybe... surprise yourself.

2017, nothing but amazing

The year is coming to an end. 

Sometimes when I think about how fast time flies, I get really scared. There are many things I have yet to do, many things I have yet to achieve to be a better daughter, a better Muslim... in all, a better human being. At the same time, I'm honestly happy and thankful with everything that has happened in my life so far. Both good and bad. I've learnt a lot, especially from all the ugly things that had happened. One hell rollercoaster ride of emotions, no doubt.

There are just so many things that I wanna share on this blog so that one day, I can read them again and continue to grow. But ugh, I've been so caught up with school. Even when I have some free time now, I just wanna be in bed to rest because that's how much school is draining me.

I'm glad that my best nine photos of the year kinda reflect how things have been going for the year. Both happy and sad moments of the year. The year has been nothing but amazing, no matter what. I hope things will continue to go well for me in future.

May 2018 be a year filled with nothing but positivity and love, and I continue to be lucky in every single aspect in my life so that I miraculously somehow become rich and successful.

next holiday, please

Many things have happened in my life. Both good and bad.

Me being me, I'm always overthinking about all the bad things that have happened. Putting myself at fault for everything. That also kinda caused me to lose myself a little bit for a while... and I can't be more thankful to Allah SWT for the best people I could have ever asked for in my life. I'm so glad to have a great support system by my side, because without them, I won't be as strong as I am right now.

No worries now, because heyyyyyyy I am back. Stronger, happier, and definitely more positive than before. 😂

Anyway, maybe you know it, maybe you don't... so I went to JB and KL last week with my aunt's family. Also, to celebrate Syakir's end of O levels (I don't remember going for any trips after my O's, kids these days are so lucky) and Nenek's birthday.

But sadly I fell sick during the trip. I know, I know what's new? I even went to see the doctor, got a jab in my butt and nope, the medicine didn't work. I only recovered after I'm back in Singapore. 

I SWEAR I NEED TO STOP GOING TO SEE DOCTORS ALL OVER THE WORLD. People are doing hotel reviews while they're on vacation AND I can totally do a review on hospitals, clinics, doctors and nurses at the rate I'm going. Just stop it, Syafiqah.

Had a really good time with them.

I compiled videos taken by my uncle (and some by me!) during the trip into one.... and well, I'm still learning how to use iMovie. How do Youtubers do thisssssss? I took hours just to compile multiple videos into one, added some songs to make it look cool that's it.

You can watch it here. 

I know it looks super amateur. Your girl right here is still learning lol oh and.... I bumped into a celebrity while casually walking around KL.

I grew up listening to her songs with Arwah Achik.

My childhood 💕

Definitely need another holiday soooooooooon 😛

Mozart, the Lazy Cat

I've been soooooo into YouTube these days. I can spend hours and hours watching it... I barely even watch the TV these days.

I know, I know I should at least be watching something that helps me with my studies. But hey there are no boundaries in gaining knowledge right? I mean makeup tutorials teach me so many things like how to achieve the no-makeup look and... how it would cost me a bomb to look like I'm not wearing makeup but I actually do and I look a lot worse without makeup so I wear makeup to not scare the shit out of all of you.

I'm also into videos of animals. Particularly, cats. 😻

So many things have happened and I have yet to update this space.

Let me update a little bit. Remember Yuna, the cat I had to give away? She passed away few weeks ago. My family has adopted another cat which we all thought was a female cat but turned out to be a male cat when we went to the vet to have it sterilised. I've gotten sick way too many times the past few weeks but I'm slowly getting better, no worries.

For now, just enjoy the video I made of my cat. 

faith

Got so much to say,

But I think it's better to keep it to myself.

Frustration.

Annoyed.

Hurt.

Broken.

It won't bring any good to share whatever truly happened with anyone.

So dear heart, please continue to be strong and continue to have faith in Allah SWT.

orange is the new black

I'm a black and white kinda girl.

Most of my clothes are either white or dark colours. Nothing that will attract too much attention. You can say I'm pretty boring. But ever since I went to Korea, I've been trying to get out of my comfort zone. Well mostly because the people there are quite daring with what they wear. So I kinda got the guts too.

People there were wearing bright orange and yellow tops and I knew I need to get one as well. To get the whole Korea experience.

So I went everywhere to search for an affordable one. Even the more expensive ones were sold out. IT WAS SUCH A CHALLENGE. 

But of course, your girl right here found it. 💅🏼  It took me weeks to get the perfect top.

Orange is the new black.

In men's section. 😂

I tried it at home right away and well, clearly it's tooooo oversized.

It could have been a mini dress for me.

And it makes me so proud to know that I'm so in trend because....

Jenn Im even produced a similar one for her store.

May I be a successful fashion mogul in future. 🙏🏼

I wore it on the way back to Singapore from Korea. Well clearly I didn't think far, because I was sweating buckets after carrying my luggages.

But buying this orange sweater is the best buy ever.

This is why.

I told Weed that I was gonna wear my orange sweater to get the rapper vibes. She told me to think again because it's gonna be hot. But I still went against her advice and just YOLO.

The moment Mika saw me yesterday, he pulled me into his arms and gave me a kiss. I was shocked and tried to laugh it off. In my head, I was like... "Is this guy kidding? Does he know what he just did?" He was more excited that we both wore orange. The exact same shade of orange. Tell me, who is crushing on who right now. 

And I know I've always said that I want a hug and a kiss from him, but still... oh well, I'm really thankful for this HAHAHA

I passed him my phone to take a selfie together and well I thought it would be just like how we first met... but I was wrong. God knows better.

He spammed my phone with pictures of us while we're just enjoying each other's warmth.

And best thing is, all the photos look like this...

Clearly somebody was confident of his angles. 😂 

He even put his chin above my head.

Mikael, you're my perfect guy.

And if you watched my Instagram stories, you would know I was not lying with my caption.

"We're meant to be.

She's my soulmate." 💕

daehan minguk manse

Why do good things always have to come to an end?

This is my last post from my lovely home in Korea and ugh if you know me well, you know how much I hate goodbyes. I love it here way too much. I miss the people back home, but no I don't miss home that much. I enjoy being here so much more.

I spent my days in this lovely home for about 2 months. Sleeping here, bathing here. Late night talks with Azreena till 5 in the morning. Laughing, rolling.... basically everything. This is home, truly. I'm definitely gonna miss this place, this country a lot.

Life's been so great. I still can't believe some of the things that happened to me. 

I've been so blessed and I can never thank Allah SWT enough for all the good things that have happened so far. I met fun and loving people. I got to meet so many people I never thought I would really meet. You can read that as... meeting Jay Park and Sik-K while casually walking around. I got to know of so many good news from back home while I'm here. 

I'll update more once I'm back in Singapore. So many things that I need to blog about in case I'll forget them in future. 

Korea, you've been nothing but amazing.

Time to get back to reality.

Hoping to come back here soon so somebody please surprise me with a free holiday.

please

To go on to the next phase.

That's all I want.

blessed, so blessed

I can say I've been really really blessed. Alhamdulillah.

If you're lucky enough, you would have seen my Instagram stories when I was dining at the same place as SNSD and some other SM artists.

Funny thing was that, earlier on that day, we were all walking around Hongdae and suddenly a Range Rover stopped right in front of me and a few cameramen starting running towards me.

I turned to my two friends and went like, "Siapa sak?"

Moments later, fans started crowding around me and BAM. It was Song Joong Ki. He was filming his Guerilla Date episode. I still have yet to watch that episode because it's blocked here ugh

 

I took a photo with SHINee's Jonghyun which btw, I didn't even know it was him at first. 😅  He looked sooooo different in real life. I only realized it was him when Nab told me. I just took a photo with him because.... all the staff in the restaurant were taking photos with him.

The toilet in the restaurant was really pretty! Aesthetics 💯

Now that Azreena is back in Singapore, I'm missing her presence at home a little bit. Like how we would laugh together at tweets and the things people post on the Internet.

I'm also missing sleeping with a lot of pillows around me 😭  But I'm definitely not THAT excited to be back in Singapore.

I mean I found the perfect pillow here....

Maybe let's change it to someone else.

Don't wanna be sleeping with someone's husband. 😂

I also squeezed in a little bit of time to make some friends in Korea. All thanks to Jae.

I had a great time hanging out with McKay and Reen.... and I owe them a dinner together oops 🙊

I hope I meet more of my favourite boys in the next few days.

Oh, and I hope I hear some good news soon. Just wanna hear good news from now on.

train to busan, train to my habibi

I was expecting for zombies on the train to Busan.

But I guess... God really knows how much of a coward I really am.

Azreena and I went to Busan after weeks of postponing and all I can say is that... this is by far, the best impromptu trip I've ever made in my life!

So you see, I'm always doing things last minute. Not even kidding, we got our tickets an hour before the train arrives and booked our hotel room an hour before arriving in Busan.

And what can I expect from this? My hotel room looks nothing like it was supposed to.

It looks so... shady and old? 

And to make things get even more shocking...

Condoms and controversial-looking tissue boxes lying around the hotel room

To be honest, I didn't do much in Busan. I'm very easily pleased, so spending time by the beach is enough to make me feel so happy. People were staring at Azreena and I for laughing and smiling so much. We were looking way too happy. It's like as if Singapore has no beaches.

Rushed to the beach, right after settling all our luggages.

So... why is this the best impromptu trip ever?

If you're on my social media, you will know that I met 2 special people in my life. And one of them is REALLY special. I can't emphasize enough how special he is to me. I've been mentioning his name to my friends, everywhere I go... on my Instagram, my Twitter. Basically, everywhere. 

I even jokingly told my friends that I will hunt him down in Korea. Thankfully, I didn't. Because if not, he's probably freaking out now.

Our special place.

So while on the train to Busan, my friends kept updating me that a few of the AOMG boys are in Busan. To which I replied, "Please pray that I meet them." I was honestly not expecting much. If we're fated to meet, then we will.

Alhamdulillah, God is probably so done with me praying to meet my fav boy so He had to answer the prayers.

I met Groovy Room's Gyujeong.

So funny thing is, I didn't know he is part of Groovy. I've been listening to all the "Groovy Everywhere" in some of my go-to songs and I didn't even know that I met the man behind all that. I even asked him if he was a singer. Thank God, he was nice enough to explain his job to me and didn't bother to slap me in the face. He even asked me if I wanted a photo with him. HE IS SO NICE.

And everyone probably know by now who I met while in Busan....

I met my Abang. I met my younghotyellow94. I met my habibi.

I met Sik-K.

Up till today, I still can't believe I bumped into him, took photos with him and even talked to him. I've said way too many times that I wanna hunt him down but let's be real. I have a life, and stalking idols are no longer my thing.

Ever since UMF 2016, I had heart palpitations whenever I drink any coffee or listen to loud music for a long period of time. But on that very Saturday I met this boy, I actually ordered Iced Vanilla Latte just because he was drinking that particular drink. This is what love does to you... it makes you dumb.

I swear I couldn't sleep that night, honestly because of the drink. But everyone thinks it was because I met my boy.

The next day I woke up early, still hoping that I bump into my boy at the beach or something.

Yes, Azreena and I woke up super early just to spend time at the beach. I mean, we gotta make full use of our time here.

The weather was great and all... but the water omg. The water was soooooo cold. Felt like iced water. 

So Azreena and I didn't really do much but just staring at people who could actually endure the cold water. I also got even tanner than I already am (thanks to Boryeong!) which is NOT cool at all. I don't even know how these Koreans are so fair when I'm getting darker here.

We headed to Gamcheon Cultural Village after checking out and settling our luggages.

Honestly, overhyped. Not as nice as expected... don't think I'll go back again for this.

I definitely need to share this.

So while I was waiting for my train to Seoul at the Busan Station, my phone slipped off my hands and got into the train tracks. Azreena and I screamed before I went down to the tracks to pick my phone up. Thank God the train was not there yet.

Few moments after the train arrived, I was searching for my pink pouch which contained my passport, my money, my credit cards and the train tickets. And I couldn't find it. Azreena and I started panicking. I mean, the train will only wait at the station for 20 minutes.

I ran back up and tried tracing back all the places that I went to with Azreena. Still, no pink pouch. So I decided to go to the lost and found counter which directed me to the police station since it involved my passport.

Now, it sucks being me because I couldn't even speak any Korean. The policemen couldn't understand what I was trying to say and I was also panicking because I only had 10 minutes left before the train leave the station. So I told Azreena to help me look around in our bags or the area near we last stood. 

I was still stuck with the policemen who tried every means and ways trying to understand what I was trying to say. I even called Geunwoo, my Korean friend, but sadly he didn't pick up. 

I swear by then, I was just praying for my passport. I was willing to lose everything else, but just give me my passport. I just wanted my passport. That red book is way more precious than everything else. I was also ready to miss the train which is also the last train back to Seoul on that day.

2 minutes before the train departs from the station, I received a text from Azreena telling me that she found my phone in between the tracks.

So I ran back down to the train tracks and we both made it into the train just in time before the train departs. Yes, we went down to pick that pink pouch up while the train was on the tracks. NO ONE STOPPED US EVEN WHEN THEY SAW EVERYTHING.

Everything was so crazy. Azreena and I just turned and looked at each other, lost for words... and we laughed.

Losing your valuables is scarier than being attacked by zombies. Trust me.