al-fatihah to pak long

"Indeed we belong to Allah,

and indeed to Him we will return."

The photo above was our last photo together. Taken during raya.

29 August 2019.

I knew this day would come when I start to lose one of my aunts or uncles after losing my grandparents. But I did not expect this day would come this soon. I lost another family member to cancer, again. This time round, it's my uncle.

For all those times when I was younger and you took care of me and pampered me with all those small tidbits and toys, thank you so much Pak Long. Those days and nights in Melaka when I was younger were also thanks to you...

Al-Fatihah 🤲🏼

to a stronger self

It's been a while. I needed some time away to get back stronger mentally and physically to face life. So far so good... I'm feeling much better now.

Well, it's pretty obvious. I didn't do well for exams and that disappointed so many people. Especially myself. I have been pretty hard on myself the past few weeks. Probably because this year I worked harder than any years before but still, the results were just not on my side. I'm slowly trying to let things go so that I can move on peacefully.

I have yet to reply to so many messages from the closest friends and family members because I needed time to recover and take charge of my mental health so please be patient with me.

I may sound like I'm okay with everything but honestly I'm not. But one thing for sure, what keeps me going is that... I know God is giving me many chances to continue to live life which many others are not blessed with.

So thank you God 🙏🏼

minutes and seconds

This waiting game is killing me.

Not asking much.

Just for me to make it to the final lap.

Please 🤲🏼🙏🏼🤲🏼

in a few hours

For years, I hate it when I go to family gatherings and I have to face the "What am I currently doing in my life?" question on top of the other demoralising statements like "Oh my gosh you've gained weight!" and the list goes on. 

Last weekend was one of those days. It's Hari Raya Haji so I had no choice but to face such statements. I wish I have a certain answer for that like most people my age do. But I don't. I hate myself for this so please stop asking me because I'm tired of hating myself for this. 

Results are coming out in a few hours. I'm slowly resigning it to fate now. But oh dear God, please just let me pass to move on to the next phase. Please 😩🙏🏼

Pray for me and my results please 🙏🏼

down to the days

It's all in a matter of days now and I'm really praying for nothing but to move on the next phase. That's all. 

Been stressing out about it on my own but I'm glad I met the girls recently to talk it out and get it out of my system. 

Please pray for us and our results. 💕

prayers and miracles

Heart's beating fast.

In need of all the prayers and miracles in the world.

Please pray for my results, my future, my whole life ❤️