West to East

I'll be away from Yewtee for about 2 weeks because of exams. Like last year, I decided to stay over at Cik Ita's place all the way in Pasir Ris. It feels like I'm going to travel across the globe whenever I think of travelling there, really.

Lucky for me, I met my two close buddies before I move over to the other side of Singapore.

Aisah enjoying her Vietnamese noodles

(kinda forgot the name of her meal)

It was pretty impromptu last night for Aisah and I. Well, I can safely say 90% of our meet-ups are usually impromptu and we totally love it. Because we can talk about anything, and then just laugh about it.

We had Vietnamese food at So Pho. She texted me right after her exam to have dinner with me. Well, I was also finding someone to have dinner with because Mum didn't cook any of my favourite dishes. (I'm pretty hard to please.)

Grilled Lemongrass Half Spring Chicken Set with iced milk tea for myself

Initially I wanted to buy the other set with lesser chicken but I thought it wouldn't be enough for me. (obviously the devil did his job well) I couldn't finish the rice at the end because the chicken really filled up my tummy. Not too bad, but it tasted a little bit like Thai food. I don't know... maybe I'm just bad with food.

Right now, I just got home from going out with Daya because obviously someone cannot be away from me too long *flicks my hair*

Chicken Pomodoro

We went to Bayfront, our favourite place in Singapore. For me, it's the skyline. I don't know why but I just love looking at our Singapore skyline. Don't you think every place on Earth has their very own special skyline? And you just can never get enough of them.

Anyway we ate at Beanstro and boy, we spent a bomb. Our expenditure on food just kept increasing and really, we need to put a stop on this. Someone really need to hold on to my card.

$6 Hokkaido Special Rich Soft Ice Cream

This ice cream is quite expensive but it was totally worth it because, it's soft ice cream. Come on, soft ice creams are da bomb! Though not as good as like those I ate in Japan, better than nothing. And the weather these days are really really warm! (Stay indoors as much as possible guys!) Having this ice cream in this warm night just made everything better.

Finals start in less than 5 days. I know I should be freaking out because I have so many things not touched and completed. But really, I don't know why I am not freaking out yet... So just continue praying for my results.

Fatty is 15 now!

When I was 7, I didn't even know my mum was pregnant. I thought she was just fat and that every fat lady's tummy had creatures living in them and they can listen to whatever I was talking to them.

Little did I know, I was gonna have another baby brother who obviously ruined the whole girly side of me...

Fast forward to today, that small kid has just turned 15 yesterday and my family decided to celebrate it at WORD Cafe.

Food wise, pretty good for cafe standard. You know how cafes and I rarely have something good going on. I don't know why but I prefer this to Badoque. Maybe because I was really hungry yesterday, or maybe it's just the fact that I was in a good mood yesterday. The portion is just nice for me, as compared to Badoque. But that's not what Syafiq felt.

This was Syafiq's, not fulfilling for him tho.

Maybe you should have an upsized meal for people like my bro.

This was Mum's.

Very creamy, I must say!

This was mine.

Cow-ch Potato, the whole potato "sauce" plus the vege makes it all perfect 😋

This was the birthday boy's meal.

He rushed home from school the moment my dad texted us. Oh, and did I tell you that we finally have a personal family whatsapp group? I've been contemplating to make one for my own family but I guess mothers know best so she made one yesterday. Anyway, he was really happy after eating. I mean, when is he not? 

This was Dad's Salmon Khan meal.

Clearly, we need a mirror check because Dad, Salman Khan and you... worlds apart!

They got my dad's order a little later than us. Most probably they forgot about his order. So when his order came, the ones who were more excited for the meal were Mum and Syafiq. These two always ALWAYS eye on other people's meals. Thank god, we're family so I will always forgive them for doing this.

Churros to end the dinner.

Finished this in less than 5 minutes, no joke.

Since I didn't get anything for my brother, I mean we were never really petty about presents. Giving birthday presents to each other has never been a thing. But singing birthday songs and eating a cake on our birthdays, those are a must!

That cake was meant for him, but he's not a fan of cheesecake. I'm on this phase of cheesecakes, so this is my way to... you know, get that cake for myself but still act like a caring sister hahaha but of course, I'm really a nice sister so I bought Hot Fudge sundae for him and Chocolate Milkshake for Syafiq.

Fatty and I in 2011

I found this yesterday when I wanted to post a photo of us together for his birthday and really, time has passed by way too fast. We used to sleep together, talk about our problems with each other (well mostly, me taking about my girl dramas) and really, I can't believe how much my brothers have grown now. Soon, they're gonna get their own spouses and I'll be crying my heart out because I still see them as babies no matter how old they are. 

But for now, I'm loving how my life is. The only thing I should focus on now is to do better in everything that is going through in my life.

Exam Anxiety, maybe

As usual, the title says it all.

I have been pretty emotional the past few days. I snapped at my family, my friends and just a few days ago, I snapped at some dude who was trying to sell me some insurance policy while I was making my way to the MRT. Sorry, I can get pretty out of hand especially when I'm not happily laughing.

Finals will be starting next week so you know how exams and I... we are just not compatible. 

Bad news, I am not ready for it at all. 

Good news, all this will end soon and can you smell the holidays coming?

Wish me luck everyone. Your prayers are very much needed in this battlefield. 

It happened, again

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Why are you lying to yourself?"

Because sometimes it makes things easier.

"For the strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack."

"For the strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack."

- Jungle Book

Upper Sec Mentors - Kashib, Fuad and Rhea

Even though we just got to know each other, but I'm glad over the past few Sundays I have gotten close to a group of friends who are smart and really really humble. They're pretty loud at voicing out their opinions (probably the main reason why two of them are on their way to be lawyers!) but they really care for the society more than anyone I ever know.

Talk to them, get to know them and you will get what I mean.

So anyway, I caught The Jungle Book in the cinema with them. Not the full strength, but it's ok. If you haven't watch it, go watch it! Baloo the bear is my favourite. It's not a horror movie, but I have no idea why I screamed and jumped in my seat a few times while watching this movie. Maybe I am really a scaredy cat. 🌚

Speaking of which, I finally watched Munafik. Every Malay person I know raved about that movie. Telling me it's such a good horror movie, so well I tried to toughen up and finally I watched it yesterday. Surprisingly, I laughed out loud while watching the movie. But when I woke up in the middle of the night after the movie, I couldn't sleep because scenes of the movie kept flashing in my mind whenever I tried to close my eyes. Bad move on a horror movie! No more horror movies, ever.

Yesterday was also a special day for Mas. This year will probably be the last year of her mentoring at Bukit Batok CC, because she's getting married this July. That means it's also the last year for her to celebrate her birthday being single.

Mas and Daya

Marinated Beef Bap w/o Beansprouts and Kimgaru Rice

Daya, Afiq and I decided to treat her to Seoul Garden Hotpot for a birthday lunch. Tried to go for Korean style, but Seoul Garden don't really do it the real Korean style so we made do with what whatever we felt like eating.

It amazes me how she's been dating her fiancé for 7 years and now, they're getting married. Afiq also just celebrated his fifth anniversary with his girlfriend. Like wow, how do you guys do it? I get bored of people easily and I give up on relationships very easily.

We got this while walking around IMM. I was telling Mas that she should approach M1 and inform that they share the same birthdate. Maybe, just maybe... she would get a free line subscription from them. That'll be perfect actually.

Right after lunch, we girls went to shop around while Afiq went home to sleep. We then went to do some manicure session.

All these seem so adult to me. But I enjoy doing them. Like doing your hair at salon, going for spa and massage sessions... I used to not understand why my aunts and my mum love doing them. But now I do. It's like a getaway from the busy life. It screams, "Finally you're taking care of yourself before others."

Daya's nails as well as mine

Daya's nails that screams Kylie Jenner when you look at it

Daya has been so into this whole Kylie Jenner thing. I went for a more pinkish nude colour for my nails. Guess pink and I has always had a thing, dammit I need to stop.

You know, what's funny... when I got home, I went on snapchat. Guess who went for a manicure session too?

Maybe DJ Khaled is my soulmate 🌚😂

If he really lost weight through his 22 days of nutrition or whatever losing weight challenge he's having now, I'll try to go vegan for a week. That's pretty long for me.

Of course, I'm kidding. Chicken and I, we are love.

have a break, have a kitkat

So today I decided to take a break from studying which shouldn't be the way because finals is in less than 3 weeks. (God save me, really!) But whatever it is, I need to get my mugging game strong ASAP.

I started today pretty normal, just like how I usually do with other days. I just decided not to study today, because I really didn't have the mood and I don't know why I'm feeling more tired than usual. Guess my menses are coming pretty sooooooon!

Shrimp and Spinach Stuffed Crust Pizza

Daya got her pay today and she decided to treat me for dinner. I don't know why I'm so blessed with such good friends when I haven't been doing good job as one. Time to up my game 💪🏻  Her birthday's next month... So give me some suggestions on what I should do for her birthday!

The pizza is good. I'm loving pineapples more than I thought I would. According to her, maybe I finally discovered that I like cooked pineapples but I'm not sure either. Because when my mum or Nenek cooks any lauk with pineapples in them, I won't eat them. She was pretty surprised that people use pineapples to cook lauk.

Sometimes I wonder if it's just my family who came up with such weird and unique dishes, or does this happen in every family?

Me, artistically drawn by Fatty

I came home from dinner at Lot 1 and Fatty excitedly got up from his study desk to welcome me at the door.

Fatty: Kakak, I have something to show you!

Me: Oh really, what is it?

Fatty: I drew you for my Art lesson just now. But I'm still pretty bad at it.

I was honestly expecting a good drawing of me. Just probably, with some minor touch-ups here and there. And when he showed me this, I just went... "Oh wow! How does this look like me?" with a calm face while faking a smile, obviously.

He kept going on about how bad he is at drawing portraits and he's thinking of ways to tackle this problem, like probably focus on drawing other things but humans. This is where I realize Art is pretty flexible. It makes you discover things you have yet to discover. I've never been much of an Arts person. The only Arts thing I did was probably Malay dance, watching drama performances and musicals, also take part in some of them... and probably studying Malay literature till JC.

Still, A for effort for my Fatty! He really gotta fix those lips tho. I don't remember having Kylie Jenner lips. Oh, and that body proportion... Did I really gain so much weight that now my body's pretty much not proportionate? Dammit, need to start working out again. But those legs, they look much slimmer so thank you for that!

Also, spot my new wallet! It's white. Let's hope it stays as white as this till someone gets for me a new wallet!

All from Aussie 🇦🇺

Nenek is back from Melbourne after a month! A month passed by way faster than ever. It seems like just yesterday I blogged about her flying off to Melbourne. She bought so many supplements for all of us, and a little generous on me with the pants. 4 pairs of pants for me, guess she can't stand the fact that I'm always wearing the same old pants to sleep even though they're all pretty much worn out.

Now, I think I should sleep soon because someone's gonna wake up in a few hours' time to start storytelling me non-stop on her one month stay in Aussie! (Well, she already started doing so just now. But someone claims to be feeling jet lag so she'll continue later sheesh 🙄)

Sleep tight 🌙

Dumb?

Sometimes I don't know if you're dumb because really, are you that gullible? It's pretty obvious he's making excuses. He wants money, you give it. He wants this, you give him this. He wants that, you give him that. When will you realize that he is just using you? It pisses me off.

And now he wants to take over something that he's not even paying for. He doesn't have any sense of initiative. He doesn't have any sense of guilt, any sense of responsibility... He sees you like an ATM machine.

When will you ever realize that? Really, wake up already.

Farewell Minzy

5 April.

Stay strong my fellow Blackjacks. 💕

One day, I hope 2NE1 will come back for a reunion and all the fans attend the concert with their kids while screaming at the top of their lungs, reminiscing the good old times.

lady of the mist, dream dancer

You know when you were in your teens, so in love with someone and just can't stop talking about it?

Yesterday right after MAEC session, I had a great lunch session with Daya, Kashib and his girlfriend. Oops, as well as Fatty. We were talking about a lot of things, like really a lot. I mean, everyone knows how much I can talk. I'm hella talkative.

Meet Syahirah, Kashib's girlfriend.

While talking, we actually found out that we were both liked by the same guy. How small can the world be? It's pretty shocking for the both of us. Because the person who liked us... He was pretty known by many. Right after the lunch session, I couldn't help it but to find out how he's doing now. And that brought me back to my Secondary 4 days.

Basically, Syahirah and I experienced a similar situation.

At one point of time in your life, you're bound to be so in love with someone. Well, lucky for me, someone from my secondary school was so in love with me. I would like to believe so... or maybe he was just pretty obsessed. But wait, before anything, I would like to say I have to applaud him for being really in love with a girl like me... because really, I am still waiting for the day someone really loves me and hopefully did not freak me out like this dude did. 

At 16, how would you react if someone wrote this for you?

This guy right here confessed to me when I was in Sec 4. Even though we barely talked, probably once... up till today, I don't understand how he could be so in love with me. I'm really the worst girl anyone can ever fall in love with, in my opinion.

He even made a poem out of my name.

He really deserves an award.

Well, he's quite a memory.

I remembered when he confessed me, everyone was mocking us. But really... up till today, I don't understand why people teased me for the fact that he really liked me. Even my "close" friends teased me. 

I would be lying if I said it didn't affect much. Because it did. When he walked pass my class, and though I felt pretty creeped out, I still don't understand why the boys in my class laughed at me and shouted my name. Like really, it's pretty childish. What's worst is, when my "close" friends did it as well. I mean, really? You guys knew I didn't like him. But it's also my fault for not telling them how much I hated whatever they were doing.

He even dreamt of me.

Which guy dreams of me now? Probably none.

He even noticed when I gained weight.

Everyone around me were always telling me that I looked fine. I didn't gain any weight, I looked "as usual". Well you guys probably notice it but just didn't have the heart to tell me about my weight gain. But this dude, damn I was trying to run away from him but he just noticed the changes on myself back then.

And when I received my O level results, he even noticed me.

I didn't realize I have a dimple on my right cheek until now.

Was it really that hard to get over a heartless person like me?

This was him trying really hard to get over me.

Even tried calling me a bitch but it didn't work.

Is this what they say... reverse psychology?

Up till today, I don't know how much that short encounter with him made him fell for me really hard. He did so many things, too many for me to list down... I'm just posting those that I saw on his facebook. Yes I kinda stalked him, and no it's not because I finally open up to him but because I feel both of us and all of the girls he ever loved didn't deserve all those mocks we got from others. So I hope through this post, if someone who ever mocked us reads this post, apologize to him and all the other girls who cried because of what you did.

And, this is from me to him.

Dear boy,

People find you creepy, and yes I have to admit you were creeping me out. But you. You showed me that people can be so in love with me. All the other boys teased you. But that's because they're being superficial. If it was the coolest kid in school or the most good-looking guy... they won't say a thing. But because you're not blessed like them, you were mocked. One thing you should be proud of is that you learnt to embrace your flaws unlike me. I hope one day a girl will learn to appreciate the way you show your love... through those poems and songs. Because I couldn't. 

Just a point to note. Don't be too pushy. By pushy, I mean... don't seek help from other people. Do it all by yourself. Because I know you can.

From, your dream dancer.

To those who found joy in mocking us and didn't feel guilty:

All he did was to fall in love. And falling in love is not wrong.

The true losers were all of you who were no different from bullies.