i hope you're okay

I had a class just now and I saw something that got me 😨🥴

Imagine a girl wearing shorts, the kind that you can see her butt cheeks as well. So she bended forward to reach over a piece of paper from the lecturer. She was directly in front of me and I was facing the front. And from the level I was sitting, the first thing I saw when I looked up... her butt. And I was genuinely worried for her. Because I could see marks and bruises. Like caning marks and really huge dark purple bruises.

I then told Hani, a friend of mine that I got closer over the past few months. She was just as shocked as I am. 

So I asked, "Do you think we should ask if she's okay?" 

And the next thing she said was, "No la, I think she got caned by her parents."

I just laughed because at this age, DOES CANING EVEN WORK?!

Then it hits me. 

She could be into BDSM shit. Something I still can't relate, like how do people feel aroused by pain. I'm the kind who cries like a baby when it comes to even the slightest pain you can ever think of.

To the girl in class who's hopefully into BDSM shit,

I hope you're really okay.

If you're not into BDSM and you're really hurt,

please don't be afraid and seek help.

kylie or audrey, please

Everyone on Twitter has been doing this Gradient thingy where they try to match your face closest with some famous person. So I tried and the results... HAHA

I remember telling S that if I could do plastic surgery, I wanna make sure the surgery is successful like Kylie's. I guess I don't even have to, because heyyy your girl already look like Kylie anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️

I tried with another photo and now I look like the beautiful Audrey Hepburn. 

This is where it all goes downhill.

I look like a statue. 😒

I'll take Kylie or Audrey, pretty please 😏

sorry

📍School's Library

The past few days I've been spending time in the library, trying to get my life together. Thankfully I have supportive friends like Qi and Chu Ping to get me through these hard times. The ones trying to ensure I'm not in depressive state and get things I need to do done. 

The past few months... emotionally and mentally, I've been struggling. People I'm not close with think I'm okay with all these failures and losses. But in all honesty, I know I'm not okay. Getting off social media helped a bit. Having friends around me and getting myself busy with work distracted me from going back into my depressive state. 

I'm sorry to the people I've disappointed... Sorry to those who have been trying to help me to succeed in life but I didn't make you proud. I'm sorry...

being hairless at the right places

A few days ago, Qi texted me saying that she has to shorten our study session because she wants to go for a massage that costs $19. The next thing I asked her was, "How did you get to know of such offers?" And so she introduced me to this app called Fave.

I downloaded this app right away.

I spent hours and hours looking at all the discounts they offered and my oh my, I was tempted to spend all my money on the various spa sessions and massage sessions. They even have post natal massages. Do I need them? No. Do I want to go for them? HELL YEAH.

But I eventually settled for this particular one.

I've always wanted to do SHR to get rid of my hairs especially the one down south because it's such a hassle to shave all the hairs away. I have to go through various yoga positions with my legs before I manage to get rid of all the hairs. 

Many people told me to try out waxing but this girl right here is such a scaredy cat. I'm the kind of girl who cries when the doctors give me a virus injection or even when they had to take my blood. I remember when I was 12 and we had to take our vaccinations, I cried like crazyyyyy. I wailed and it sucks because I remembered having such a high fever the next day. Drama queen, indeed. So of course, I didn't wanna try waxing no matter how many times people try to convince me to do so.

Right after I bought this voucher, I texted Qi panicking because I'm about to show my private area to someone else. And that someone else is a stranger. No one, NO ONE... has seen me fully naked. The last person who saw me naked was probably my mum. But even then, it was when I was much much younger. So I couldn't stop being nervous thinking about opening my legs and showing my private area to someone else.

But I eventually did. 

I came early today because I was way too nervous.

The receptionist made me filled in some form and I was honestly scared because "What if this voucher is a scam? What if it means $148 per session?" I mean I'm broke but I wanna be hairless. Thankfully, the receptionist said it's really $148 in all. But I had to top up a one-time payment of $50 for the intergluteal cleft area.

This is how the room I was given looks like.

Thankfully, clean.

The lady that attended me could sense I was nervous and tried calming me down. I don't think I'll ever be okay showing others my private areas. Way too shy.  She was also honest enough to tell me that I wouldn't see instant results since I'm quite hairy. Thank God, the whole session lasted less than 15 minutes. 

And I can safely say, it's really not painful at all. NO PAIN. But you can feel some heat when it gets to the more sensitive intimate areas. That's all. 

I don't know if this SHR treatment will work for me, but let's hope it does because I just wanna be hairless as soon as possible. According to what I read so far, SHR is supposed to be a much more effective hair removal treatment. So let's hope it works for me. 

Took this before I left because I am on my way to...

being hairless at the right places.